“Gratitude” is the quality of being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”
You were asked to have a mirror next to you as you read my last two columns. Remember? Well, this time I ask that you sit next to a window so that you can see yourself in your mirror and others you know in the window as we deep dive into the human quality of “gratitude.”
The truth is that gratitude is often something we don’t think about until an experience in life forces us to, especially if we feel that we deserve it and don’t get it. Take last week’s Thanksgiving Day celebration as a case in point for expressions of genuine gratitude.
For millions, a day spent with family enjoying helpings of turkey, mac and cheese, fresh greens, cranberry sauce, hot rolls and sweet potato pie topped off with vanilla ice cream followed by an afternoon nap and football games all, or should, warrant gratitude.
For yours truly, my thanks for that day include those who toiled away, sometimes for days, over hot stoves and ovens preparing delicious meals for people like me who couldn’t heat a simple pot of hot water with written instructions nearby.
Now if happenstance would have it, the next day I sat alone deep in thought in a coffee shop sipping a cup. But for the life of me, I just couldn’t dislodge the thought of “gratitude” from my head given my experiences on the day before and, before that, my published narratives on victims of domestic violence and homelessness.
Suddenly a book by a Nobel Prize winning columnist fell out of my briefcase as I was reaching inside for my laptop. Well, call it divine intervention, good luck or something I still can’t explain, the book fell open on page 253, to a chapter on gratitude. Here’s how the story began:
“A Baptist preacher was driving through a city when he was approached and stopped by two women who begged for a ride. A generous man who found it difficult to turn away from a need, he obliged them. Once inside one of the women produced a knife and stabbed him in the neck. He scrambled out of the car to get away but was tangled in his seatbelt. The women took off anyway and dragged him five blocks while rolling over one of his feet. Finally, one of the women cut the seat belt leaving him on the street burned, gashed with his left foot damaged beyond repair. It had to be amputated.
When he eventually returned to the pulpit, a newspaper depicted him as transcendent and triumphant, hopping about crying joy to the rafters. Know what he said?
“I have one leg! Thank you, God!”
Here’s a man made unwhole, incomplete, by an act of useless evil. He ought to be whispering in bitterness. Instead, he’s shouting in gratitude. Thank you, God, for I no longer have. Thank you for what I still do.”
Is it so difficult to make the leap from his life to ours? the columnist asked. Well, I figured that highlighting the benefits of expressing gratitude and calling out the characteristics of ungrateful people may help.
Gratitude is linked to increased happiness and contentment and can combat feelings of depression and anxiety. A focus on gratitude can help people bounce back from adversity and manage stress more effectively.
Practicing gratitude can lower stress hormones and promote a more relaxed state by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. Gratitude can increase the release of “feel-good” neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, and strengthens neural pathways associated with happiness. Additional benefits:
Improved sleep: People who practice gratitude report sleeping better.
Better heart health: Gratitude is associated with a lower risk of heart disease, better blood pressure, and improved overall heart health.
Increased energy: Feeling grateful can lead to higher energy levels.
Fewer aches and pains: Studies show a correlation between gratitude and fewer physical complaints.
Improved immune function: Gratitude is linked to better immune health.
Stronger relationships: Expressing gratitude improves relationships by fostering empathy and strengthening bonds.
Increased prosocial behavior:
Grateful people are more likely to be helpful, and less likely to be aggressive.
Turning now to ungrateful people. A characteristic of them is that they feel entitled, that they are owed things and expect others to meet their needs without expressing gratitude. They often overlook or dismiss the efforts others make on their behalf. Say experts the best way to deal with ungrateful people is to communicate openly about your feelings. This is important because sometimes the other person doesn’t even know that they are not being grateful. You can’t expect others to read your mind, so you need to communicate openly.
However, the truth of the matter is that at the end of the day, you can only control your own attitude and behavior. If someone is ungrateful, you may not be able to change that. If you let their attitude and behavior influence how you feel in a negative manner, it’s your choice.
Now before I bring this narrative to a close with some additional words of wisdom from the Nobel Prize laureate, my talented friend “Maria,” posted the following on Facebook; a compelling message that drives home the intrinsic value of being grateful and blessed to be able to give!
She wrote, “My platelet count was 306 and I was able to give three units of platelets today! I’m grateful that I’m able to give regularly. I ran into a church friend donating for the 20th time this year. This was my 19th donation for 2025. God is good!”
Okay, feel free to put your mirror aside until the next time you hear from me, but only after you’ve internalized the following departing message from our Nobel Prize laureate:
“A man with one leg blesses the Maker for leaving him that much, and if that doesn’t give you pause, well, maybe it should. If a man with one leg can cry jubilation, what excuse is there, really, for a man who has two?” Terry Howard is an award-winning writer, a contributing writer with the Chattanooga News Chronicle, The American Diversity Report, The Douglas County Sentinel, Blackmarket.com, recipient of the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Leadership Award, and third place winner of the Georgia Press Award.